The disclaimer:

So after much persuasion, I have finally decided it is time to start a blog about my adventures. As I have been unable to pick a clear topic to stick to because let’s be honest here, sometimes I do some pretty bizarre things. This blog could and potentially will cover everything that is happening around me and to me, as well as my personal thoughts and opinions. 

That last part of that sentence is VERY important. 

Please heed: MY PERSONAL THOUGHTS AND OPINIONS. 

This blog is going to be uncensored and potentially vulgar at times but I am choosing to write my life out in an open and purely honest way as that is the only way it is truly worth reading about. 

If this bothers you then please do not read it.

Welcome to my life as I see it now that I am nine and twenty years of age.

Arriving in Poland

So I think maybe I should start at the beginning of all of this, which in all honesty has made me realise a few key things about myself. The most important being I know NOTHING about Europe. So please forgive my never ending naïveté and ignorance which I am certain will come up multiple times.

Let me set the scene for this part of my story… I have landed in Poland. I suddenly realize I spent two weeks drinking in Ireland and didn’t bother to even learn the basics of the Polish language! So now I’m in a foreign country whose language I can’t even say out loud let alone understand.

Here you try:

 źdźdło  chrząszcz  gżegżółka  mitrężyć

absztyfikant  świerszcz  dżdżysty

But wait! I KNEW a WHOLE month in advance I was going to Poland it’s not like it was some Ryanair special and I thought “hey that’ll be grand, Tompers pack your scarf and toque we are going to NORTHERN Eastern Europe in the WINTER..” (ps. It’s not even cold yet, its like 0, we are just being sissies because last winter we were in South America where we forget we had to buy alpaca jumpers to keep from freezing half to death at 10 degrees Celsius.) BESIDES the point.. 

Here we are and do you think Tompers knows any Polish? Le sigh, so what do I do. I go up to the information desk in the airport to sort out how I am going to get into town from the airport. I very politely say to the lady ¿Habla usted inglés?

shoot me now. 

Why on earth do I ask the Polish lady in Spanish if she speaks English? Turns out my Spanish is brilliant when I’m in a country that doesn’t speak Spanish! Boy wouldn’t that have come in handy in SOUTH AMERICA. Lucky for us the lady at the counter speaks perfect English and thinks Tompers is the most adorable thing she has ever seen. (He’s such an attention whore) She very kindly explains to me in detail how to go about getting on the bus, where the stop is, how often the bus comes, how long it should take to get to the city center, how to make the bus stop, and what kind of money the machine to get a bus ticket accepts (fyi Not 20 złote notes which I tried anyway because clearly I wasn't listening). At last we have made it to Wrocław (vrots-wahf). Which I learned how to say like a pro! After a week of trying.

I think I forgot to mention I forgot to book a hostel in my Irish drinking binge so I booked one on the bus to the airport and got the last one available. 

Tompers decides because I am in a country I have never been to I had better get on trying their nation cuisine, plus all I had eaten that day was two pints of Guinness in the Dublin airport. Which he deems unacceptable. It turns out what I thought my entire life was Ukrainian food is in fact also Polish food, and my favorite type of pierogi is RUSSIAN! Oh the lies I was raised with. (Also turns out that little bit of Russian blood, thanks granny e, makes me very good at drinking heaps of Vodka, straight…)

Long story long, google maps directed to me to a place called Pierogarnia, AND believe it or not they we not licensed to serve alcohol. This is just the beginning of what will turn into one of the many times google maps has steered me wrong, apparently google hasn’t sorted out Poland yet. However, me being the adventurous gal that I am decided to stay, and drink water with dinner. 

I know this may have caused some of you to fall off your chairs. 

Continuing in the adventurous nature of mine I ordered 5 Russian Style Traditional Dumplings aka Pierogi Ruskie. With a side of sour cream, because that isn’t standard here. Oh and I added bacon and onions for good measure, mmmm Canadian style pierogies in Poland. #losing but #delicious.